May 2017

5 posts

I had a solid day today eating wise.  I ate healthy breakfast, lunch and dinner, however after dinner I had a pepsi and a pastry. While the pepsi and the pastry are not items I want to have in my diet, after a day of being on point eating wise, it wasn’t that bad.  After I ate it though, I was semi-mad at myself as I battle my mental strength when it comes to have restraint to say no to these items.  I was laying across the bed thinking about how weak I feel I am mentally when I thought to call my husband in and ask him how does he keep strong with his mental thinking and restraints. We had a great talk.  I was surprise that I felt comfortable and he thoroughly was willing to help.  I wasn’t surprised as if he is not supportive, but more so that I was able to open up about it with him as lately I have been just keeping things internal and to myself.  We talked and basically came up with a plan that I believe would work and one that he said he would do everything he can to help me keep on track.  I felt so good after the talk.

The plan we talked about was creating a menu from Friday to Friday and also an exercise schedule that I would adhere to no matter what is thrown my way.  He told me that I deserve everything my heart desires and that he would help me to get those things.  My husband knows I want to lose weight and that it is my number one priority right now.  He is okay with my taking any needed time to focus on me and losing the weight I desire and he is also willing to help. I’m very grateful to have an understanding and helping husband.  The plan is that from Friday to Friday I stick solely to the exercise plan and menu and then on Friday I can have a treat, which includes a drink of my chose (probably a pepsi) and a food item of my choice before starting my next week of sticking to the plan created.  This does not mean that on Friday I can have a pass to splurge on the drink of my choice and food item of my choice, but instead I can have a serving of each.  I loved this idea and I am going to give it a try.  I will change my weigh-in day to Friday as it will be better suited for this plan.  Now all I have to do is create the menu (which I will do tomorrow evening after I grocery shop) and the exercise plan.  I will do both of these tomorrow evening.

I am thankful to have had this talk with my husband and for his support.  I will give it my all to stick to this plan and see if I can make better traction towards my goals and start to see better results. Stay tuned.

Until I blog again,

I did it. 

I did it.

OMG I did it.

After yesterday’s post where I was angry at myself for not staying the course, I pushed out today with one mission in mind….to make this day as close as possible eating wise. And guess what, I DID IT! For breakfast I had two scrambled eggs with cheese & two turkey sausage links. For lunch I had an open face burrito where I passed on the rice & tortilla and instead had the ground turkey over lettuce with onion, tomatos & cucumbers. And for dinner I had a small steak, cubed potatoes (made in the oven) & a side salad. I had absolutely no soda & im looking forward to day two with no soda tomorrow. I’m extremely proud of myself, now I will have to build on it. WoooHoooo….

I know this is a quick and short post where I basically rambled but I needed to get this out of my system! I’m happy that I beat all mental thoughts & had a close to perfect day in a long time. Time to build it up to ten close to perfect days of eating….

Until I blog again,

Ugh, I am so mad at myself.  I know, I know, it is the same ole story for me. I am on plan for two weeks, off for four weeks. I will NEVER get to where I want to go if this vicious and unwanted cycle continues.  Why can’t I get motivated, inspired and stay on track?  Why is this sooooooo hard for me? I want to lose weight, I really do, however I keep sabotaging myself instead. Mentally I feel so very weak.  Why can’t I make good food choices all day long? Why can’t I stay away from pepsi, which is a terrible trigger for me?

Why?

Why?

Why?

I knew that losing over 150 pound would be hard, but not this hard.  Today I did great for breakfast and lunch, however when I got home I seemed to eat everything in sight.  I ate pizza for dinner with a pepsi.  I then ate gingersnap cookies and potato chips.  The sad part is that I didn’t even want the cookies and chips, but because they were there, I ate them.  I immediately got up and poured hot water on all the snacks in my home and threw them in the trash.  I want to get to a point where I can go a day, JUST ONE DAY, as close to perfect with eating and exercising as possible.  I am going to do my best to make tomorrow that day.  For now, I will go and have 32 ounces of water and then go to bed.  I am praying that tomorrow is a better day for me. I have to get at least one day right and it will start tomorrow.

Until I blog again,

Day. Zero. Project. YES!

I have completed listing my 101 goals for the Day Zero Project, finally.  Well, I have 102 goals listed as I was an “overachiever” and couldn’t delete one goal when I learned I had went over by one goal. Oh well. If you do not know what the Day Zero Project is, basically it is where you choose 101 goals to be done in 1001 days, which is 2.74 years.  I did my best to come up with doable goals, but not something that would be so easy to accomplish either.  I look at this as a challenge as well.  I know it will be hard, but I will give it my all.  It is the least that I can do for me.

I created a Day Zero Project page on my blog so that I can have a place to keep track of the goals and my progress.  I plan to blog regularly about how the goals are going as a way to keep me honest.  I am pretty excited to finally get started.  My start date is May 14, 2017 and my end date is February 9, 2020.  The end date feels so far away, however we all know how time flies.  I attempted to put my goals into categories, so that I can have a better feel of what it is that I need to do in different areas. One might notice that I have a lot of health and exercise goals, but if I look at my life right now, this area is my focus.  This project will allow me to stay on track and stay the course to ensure I am still working towards progress of weight loss.  There are also some fun items in my list as I do not want to lose the focus of fun along the way 🙂 I would hate for that to happen 🙂

So finally I am starting a project that I have wanted to do for so long and I am tickled pink about doing so.  I plan to have some fun along the way…..now let’s get started.

Until I blog again,

I know I have said all the right things in my previous posts as I really do mean them, but I haven’t been honest with myself totally. You see all of the things I have said that I will do, all of the things that I shared I have done are true, but at a very highly inconsistent level.  I have yet to commit to eating healthy and exercising consistently. To be honest, it bothers me too.  Why? Why can’t I just commit to doing something that serves me right in the present and for the future? I am obese, overweight and if I continue down this road it can get really ugly for me.  I do not want this to happen.  I want to get to where I am consistent and build from there.  I know deep down I truly want to live a happy and healthy life, but my actions are not matching that desire.  And it has to if I am ever going to reach the goals I have set for myself, my weight and my eating habits.

I see people all the time reaching their weight loss goals as I sift through my instagram feed, read through blogs and even I know some people personally that have done it.  I still do not fully understand what it is that is keeping me from latching on and following through so that I too may have the success that I see so many have. It is all very frustrating and at times can be demoralizing that I am still in the place I was, saying I will do this and that, yet not gaining much traction.  What will it take? When will I get it and then work hard to achieve the weight loss goals I set for myself?  Honestly, there is NOTHING that is keeping me from reaching my goals, but me and that kills me deep inside.  KILLS ME!  I am tired of being that person that helps others very much but can’t seem to help myself even when my life can depend on it.  It hurts and I sometimes find myself speechless or not knowing what to do so that I can get on track and stay there.  I just don’t know.

But one thing is for certain, I WILL NOT QUIT! I WILL NOT GIVE UP! I say that and feel that with the notion of believing that one day I will do exactly what I said I would do.  I will eat healthy and I will exercise daily.  I believe that and I have to start somewhere.  So here’s to a great start to the week tomorrow. My plan is to go MASTER MONDAY… I pray!

I will blog tomorrow on my plan to get me back on track and how I will stay on track.

Until I blog again,

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