Sunday, ol Sunday ūüôā

Yes, the weekend is almost over and it is time for a new week. ¬†I embrace Monday’s as to me I think of it as a fresh start to get the things I¬†want in life right. ¬†I know it is not always that easy, but I try to tell myself this each week. This way I go into the week with a positive mind-set. ¬†So bring on Monday!

Today I took a trip to Costco because I needed to renew my membership and grab a couple of items for this week’s meal prepping. ¬†When I got to the counter to renew my membership, I greeted the lady at the counter how I would normally greet someone. ¬†Immediately after my greeting her she began to tell me how she thought my spirit was beautiful and how¬†my smile and joy beams off of me. ¬†That really made my day. ¬†It got better though. After I thanked her, I took out my bank card so that I can pay for the renewal fees, however she told me that my account had been upgraded for free AND¬†for two years! My heart melted. I was shocked, but thankful/grateful. ¬†I thanked her over and over and promised her that I would pay it forward. ¬†Needless to say, my shopping right after was awesome

At Costco I got some plums, nuts, greens, brown rice and my husband his snacks. ¬†It was jammed packed, so I was surprised that I was able to get in and out in an hour. ¬†Immediately after I left I went to the local grocery store to buy some green peppers (I didn’t want to buy them in bulk at Costco since we do not eat them in plenty) and I got some mustard and turnip greens. ¬†I came home at started my meal prepping.

For my meal prepping, I made egg muffins, greens (mustard and turnips), baked jerk chicken and brown rice. ¬†For breakfast I will have two egg muffins and on the side some sliced cucumbers. For lunch I will have baked chicken, 1.75 cups of the mustard and turnips and a half of cup of brown rice. I am trying my hardest to get more greens in hence the cucumbers and greens. For dinner I am not sure what I will have, but I am thinking salmon and either a salad or some broccoli. ¬†My snacks are plums and cottage cheese. I am anxious to see how this will go for the week as this is my first week back at meal prepping. Let’s see.

For exercise this week, I want to go to the gym Mon-Sat and I plan to do a cardio each workout and this week I will add weight training.  I do not want to get burned out so I want to see how this week goes and I will adjust accordingly.  I also am planning to get to the vitamin store so that I can pick up vitamin D and magnesium. Vitamin D is an obvious pickup and the magnesium I want to add for a while to help relax my muscles since they are so sore from introducing exercise back into my days.

That’s it. That’s where I would like to keep my focus this week. Stay the course with my eating and get my exercise in. I believe I am ready to have a great week, but you know sleep is important too. So with that being duly noted, off to shower and get ready to jump in my sweet, sweet bed.

Gonna kick ass this week, mmmmkay?

Until I blog again,

Tonight I thought to myself to break up the monotony of my workout routine, I would take my basketball to the gym and shoot some shots. To make it a solid workout, I promised myself that after I shot the ball, that I would hustle¬†to gather my rebound instead of walking to get the rebound. I wanted this to be fun, but I¬†really wanted to get a good sweat in too. I put on my wireless headphones, had my music, my ball and to the gym I went. When I first got there, there were only two young boys there (maybe 11-12 years old) which was cool because I was able to get one half of the gym to myself. Minutes later, three other teenage looking boys came in, making it a total of six folks in the gym, including me, The boys wanted to play three-on-three, half court, but that would mean they needed me to play to make the teams even. When they first asked me, I told them no as I knew I wasn’t ready to play competitively, even against young boys. ¬†With my weight being 358 (I haven’t weighed yet to see if I lost from my original weight that I talked about in this¬†post) I know the movement in basketball, the jumping and the fast past that teenage boys play at would be too much, so I initially said no. ¬†However, that no didn’t last long. About 25 minutes had passed and I was hoping someone would come in so that they could play, but no one had showed up. ¬†I looked at the other end of the court and saw that one boy had to sit out as the other four had started a game of two-on-two. ¬†At that point, I went down and said to them, add me to a team and let the little guy sitting out on the other team. ¬†Whew!!!

I ended up playing two games.  It was so hard. I was out of breathe. The competitor in me wanted to do the things that I used to be able to do while playing basketball in high school and college, but I could not do it. Instead, I was a liability on defense as the young man I was guarding was a deer and was running every where.  I had to remind myself during the games that this was a workout for me and that I knew it would be hard, but to keep moving. I did that and I was happy in the end.  After the two games, I sat on the sideline on the bench for about 25 minutes. Why did I do that? When I got up to leave, it was hard to get up because my joints where hurting.  I managed to get home where I took a bath to soak my bones and as I am writing this post, I am paying for the basketball workout this evening. I am sore, whew!

I know I am not ready to move like I moved tonight, but I am still happy that I did it. And I haven’t decided yet, but Friday evenings for my workout, I may do this weekly. I want to see how I feel tomorrow and how I recover before I make the final decision. One of my long-term goals is to be able to play a full court basketball game again. ¬†I have work to do, but I will get there. ¬†I am paying for the basketball I played tonight, but I will be very honest, I felt good to be back on a court¬†that once was my “comfort zone” for years while I played competitively. I will be back in some fashion one day.

Until I blog again,

Dear God,

First and foremost, I want to thank You for giving me life, for seeing fit to allow me to see another day.  There is not a day that goes by that I am not grateful & thankful for all the things You do for me and through me.  I love you with all of my heart and I give You all the honor and glory for everything.

I am writing you Father as I want to apologize to You. I apologize sincerely for what I have done to the body You gave me, the temple You gave me. I have allowed food to be who You were supposed to be in my life. And I am sorry. I have over eaten many times. I have been a glutton. I ask You for forgiveness. I am making a promise to You and to myself to do better. I will eat better and I will exercise. I have already started Father. Please allow me the chance to show You that I will keep my word. Give me the time and continue to help and guide me. I ask that You please accept my apology. I sometimes wish I could go back in time to change all the bad I have done as it relates to eating that has got me to my size, but I know I can not go back. I pray that You would grant me another chance.  Father, I am asking that You help me to forgive myself so that I can move forward and do better. I give You my word that I will do so.  Another thing Father, I find that eating the right way and correcting the bad habits I have had with my relationship with food hard, so I am asking that You guide me and show me the way.  Help me become disciplined in my eating. Please help me to become consistent with great eating habits.  Help me to know when I have had enough to eat.  I ask for help as for now it is hard, hard to rid myself of the bad eating decisions that I have become accustomed to.  Father, through it all, I will alway give You the glory for I know it is only You that deserve it.

Thank You Father for hearing my prayer, for accepting my apology and for allowing me to move on past the damage I have done to my body. I love you Father. In the name of Jesus I pray…Amen!

Until I blog again,

Today while doing some thinking about where I want to be on my weight loss journey, the one word that kept coming to me is consistency.  I know exactly why too.  In the past when I have set out to lose weight, I would be consistent for a maximum of two months and then one day or night where I would eat bad or skip the gym and then boom that was the end basically.  I never bounced back from that bad day or night.  I would attempt to bounce back, but I never fully would. There are other times where I would be doing well with my eating habits and exercise for an entire week and then off for the next three weeks.  I would then have a wake up call and get back on track, but that is after I have gained all I had lost from the week(s) I was on track.  The one thing I have not truly been able to do was to stay on track, just to be consistent.  This is why I have not seen how far I can go and how much weight I could lose.  I sabotaged myself before I am able to see real results.  I have to do better this time around.

My plan is to be as consistent as I can. I do not want to go two weeks and then have an off day and that day becomes a month or two. ¬†Then I will be right back where I started and that is the most frustrating thing that I put myself through. ¬†I want to know that I can lose twenty¬†pounds so that I can see if I can lose thirty¬†pounds. ¬†I want to see that I can become a pants size smaller. ¬†I want to see that I can eat clean for three months straight. I want to be able to notice that I have loss weight. ¬†I can do all of these things if I give a consistent effort each day. This is the piece that I have not yet mastered, but I will. It is all a mental thing and I will do everything I can to master this piece of the “puzzle”. Sometimes I wish it came easy to me, but then again, what good would it be if it was all so simple? I know I can do it. I know it will not be easy. ¬† I have to stay consistent with my eating and exercise and trust the process. ¬†And I will…

Until I blog again,

I finally made it back to the gym. ¬†Yesterday was the first of the month, so I wanted to start the month off on the right foot. ¬†I also wanted to ensure that I am doing what is needed to meet my birthday goal as talked about in yesterday’s post. It felt good to be back, but just like any time you someone is away from working out, I am experiencing some soreness. ¬†Yesterday I did the elliptical¬†for 45 minutes while watching Hulu, My 600 lb Life, where I was so emotional. This show really helped me power my workout too. ¬† I feel so sorry for the folks on this tv show, but at the end of each episode it is awesome to see that most of them have changed their lives.

Here are my numbers from the elliptical yesterday.  I did 3 miles on the elliptical.

I am aware that the workout machine numbers are the most accurate, however my heart rate monitor that i better with workout number accuracy batteries were dead. I came home from the gym and ordered new batteries from the heart rate monitor from amazon. Mid next week I should be good to go and ready to wear my hrm for better workout number accuracy.

I also went to the gym earlier today. I watched another episode of My 600 lb Life¬†so my workout was identical to yesterday’s. ¬†I was so close to 3 miles. Below is a photo of me hiding my face and my workout numbers. ¬†I have a long way to go, but I will not quit until I reach my goals.

I am ready for the work week to start. My lunch is packed and I am looking forward to pushing through this week. ¬†I am off to pack my gym bag now. Here’s to an awesome week <3

Until I blog again,

Today is April 1, 2017.  Yes, April Fool’s day, however my blog post will not be an April Fool’s joke. I want to get serious instead.  I will be forty in exactly fifty-nine days and I want to give myself the gift of weight loss. I just weighed in and I am currently 358.0 pounds, so this is my starting weight.  That number totally sucks, but it is my truth. I except it and now to do something about it. As a birthday gift to myself, I would like to lose 15-20 pounds  (18lbs would be perfect which would put me at 340lbs for my 40th). I think that this is extremely doable so I am making this my short-term goal. I want to be proud of myself as it relates to my weight. It has been a long time coming since I have had much to celebrate weight wise. I believe giving myself the gift of losing 15-20 pounds down before my 40th birthday would be an epic gift.  I am going after it.  So now the question is how will I accomplish this?  I plan to track all my food, whatever goes into my mouth, I will track it.  I will eat as clean as possible, basically giving up all processed foods. I also plan to workout 4-5 times a week. My workout will consist of aerobic and strength training. And lastly, I will have fun while attempting to reach my goal. Making it fun is what will keep me interested and on track to meet my goal.

I look forward to see how consistent I can be as I work towards my birthday goal. I am going to stay disciplined.  I will blog about where I am along the way.  I have to stick to it and I will.

I am off to get my first workout of April in <3

Until I blog again,

Today was day two and it was better. I was able to stay on track with my eating plan and I felt good about it. I am also blogging about my day two so this means that I was able to meet two of the three goals set for today, my eating well and blogging. The third goal I set, unfortunately, I didn’t meet. I did not make it to the gym for a workout ūüôĀ My heart and mind wanted to, but I just didn’t get it done. I will do better tomorrow and it will be the first goal that I attempt to reach. You see, I have a love/hate relationship with working out. I love it after I do it, but I have a hard time getting there. I just have to get it done. No excuses. Once I break the cycle of not going, I usually have no issues with going the next day and so on. It’s just getting there that is the hardest part to me. I know that sounds crazy, but it is my truth. I own it and I plan to do something about it.

I have done well for three days (no I will not keep counting the days) and I am proud of myself. I will keep adding¬†solid and strong habits to my daily routines until I have mastered the habits and do them without thinking about them. That is the goal. I am still excited, so that is a good sign that it didn’t wear off yet. I can do this. I WILL DO THIS!

In other news, today I am starting a book titled “The Fred Factor“. I learned of this book awhile ago while reading a story about a teen named Fred who rode his bike 50 miles to register for college. It was said that he was homeless and had no other options to get to his college. The story really touched my heart and while following the story I learned of the book, The Fred Factor. I can’t wait to get started and learn something from this book. This is not a book about the teen which¬†biked to college, but it came up in discussion while reading about him. My night will consist of drinking some H2O and starting this book. Cheers!

Until I blog again,

Yesterday was what I called “pre-day one”, which means today was the officially day one. Day one wasn’t foul proof, but it wasn’t disastrous either. I would say I met 70% of the goals I sat out to meet. Was it perfect? No. But it was better than yesterday and any day last week. The one thing that I am proud of from today was that whenever I was tending to a goal set, that I actually thought about it. You see, in the past I would just do things without the thought process which would normally end up with irrational outcomes or unfavorable outcomes. Today, I was thinking, which is a huge step for me.

The one thing that I set out to do but didn’t get it done was to get back to the gym. I had plans and I really wanted to, but when the alarm went off this morning, I cut it off and slept a tad longer. I thought I would go after work, but I was tired. Instead I came home and made a nutritious meal and sat and enjoyed it. The plans are that day two, tomorrow, I will reacquaint myself with the gym and exercise. I am looking forward to going back.

So all in all, day one wasn’t a failure. I did somethings great, where other things I still have some tuning to do. Marathon, not a sprint. If I keep that in mind, I shall meet my goals and surpass them. I look forward to that. One day at a time.

Tomorrow, I have three goals:

  • Get to the gym for a morning exercise
  • Stay within the goals of my eating plan
  • Blog about my day two

I am excited to do better tomorrow.

Until I blog again,

I have tried and stopped, tried and stopped, tried and stopped until I am ready to push past the stopping part and giving it my all.  The thing about this vicious cycle is that I have never been past the “stopped” part to see how far I can go.  Because I have always stopped quit, I have never known what I can accomplish and that to me is a scary thing. Why is it scary? Well for the simple fact that I personally have quit at attempting to succeed.  Makes sense? I sure hope so.  I want to push, fight and grit past the quitting and see myself in another phase.  Why can’t I blog without quitting? Why can’t I eat healthy without quitting? Why can’t I lose the unwanted weight without quitting? Why?  That’s what I want to answer and I am the only one that can answer that question for myself. How can I answer that?  By simply pushing through and finding out what can get done if I do not quit, finding out what goals I can meet by not quitting. Easy, eh? Well, I know it will not be an easy feat, but I am up for the challenge.  I am ready to see what I can get done by doing the things that I know I have to do to reach my goals. I’m ready.

Today is ‘pre-day one”.  I named it that because while at work today the notion of starting came over me, so the day had already started and I had already did the opposite of what I want to set out to meet.  I started right then and there though, as soon as I felt the little voice saying “start now” and because I was mid-day already, I decided to name today, “pre-day one”. Tomorrow is officially day one and I am excited.  I am using this “pre-day one” to help prep for day one.  This mean that I am blogging today, making a schedule that I will start tomorrow, getting my gym bag ready and making sure my breakfast and lunch will be packed and ready for tomorrow.  I have to et myself up for success so today is a perfect day to do that.

Like I said, tomorrow is day one.  I will be first focusing on my eating habits and ensuring that I am setting time out to get to the gym for a workout.  I will weigh myself (and maybe post the results, although that is scary), I will track my food intake and I will exercise.  And of course, I will blog about it tomorrow.  Here’s to my day one of my newly written book.  I know that it will not be easy, but I am up for the challenge.  Read it here first, on this day (March 28, 2017), I will be a success story to myself and for myself. I am just getting started and I am excited. Off to finish my “pre-day one”, my prepping for day 1.

Until I blog again,