I was not always overweight. In fact, I was an athlete at one point in my life where I played at each level except the professional level.  I sometimes wonder if I could have played professionally if I had of kept going, but that’s another bog post. Recently I was told from someone I respect who actually played with professionals that there was no doubt I could have played at that level, however I will never know. Deep down I believe I could have played professionally, but life took me another route.

My route hasn’t been easy as it relates to exercise and eating habits. All of this is basically my fault so I take full blame for the route I went. I stopped working out, working on my game and fell in love with food and dining out instead.  This caught up to me hence why I am faced with the challenge now. During this time, I have promised myself several times that I would do better and while my intentions were good, for whatever reason I didn’t follow through.  I also shared stories of my goal of wanting to do better with friends, family, coworkers and God, however I failed to meet those goals.  This became a pattern, so today when I feel as though I am serious about weight loss and I share the same type of stories with my family, friends, coworkers and even God, I can see why they wouldn’t believe me.  Because I’ve been down this road before with them and unfortunately I have not been able to share any results. I am at the point I do not even want to share these same stories with them of my goal to want to lose weight as I feel their belief in me wouldn’t be there.  This is all brought on by me and I accept that. Why would you or anyone believe someone who has repeatedly said one thing, but have done the exact opposite? I wouldn’t believe someone like that. I would listen, but I would have my reservations. That is human nature. But that is all okay.  No one has to believe me, I believe in myself.

I know that it is easy to lose weight with a partner or with someone, a buddy system, but I am at a point where I rather do it with God as my anchor and let my work do the talking. I do not want to look like a liar again. I do not want to say one thing and have someone deep down not believe in me or the words I say. My husband believes in me, I am sure of this, however I want to show him.  I want him to assist me as I am on this journey, but before I start talking, I want him to see me doing the action. This is something I choose to do as I have said I would do this and that relating to weight loss, but never followed through.  I do believe in me. I will do this and I know God will be with me.  Will it be easy? No, but nothing in life is.  Each day I will work hard to get closer to my goal just like I do anything else in my life.  I will continue to do the believing, as I am the only one that matters.  I hold no grudges against anyone who doesn’t believe in me any longer and I understand why they wouldn’t believe me. I truly get it.

But I will do this. I BELIEVE! I BELIEVE IN ME!

Until I blog again,