Ugh, I am so mad at myself.  I know, I know, it is the same ole story for me. I am on plan for two weeks, off for four weeks. I will NEVER get to where I want to go if this vicious and unwanted cycle continues.  Why can’t I get motivated, inspired and stay on track?  Why is this sooooooo hard for me? I want to lose weight, I really do, however I keep sabotaging myself instead. Mentally I feel so very weak.  Why can’t I make good food choices all day long? Why can’t I stay away from pepsi, which is a terrible trigger for me?

Why?

Why?

Why?

I knew that losing over 150 pound would be hard, but not this hard.  Today I did great for breakfast and lunch, however when I got home I seemed to eat everything in sight.  I ate pizza for dinner with a pepsi.  I then ate gingersnap cookies and potato chips.  The sad part is that I didn’t even want the cookies and chips, but because they were there, I ate them.  I immediately got up and poured hot water on all the snacks in my home and threw them in the trash.  I want to get to a point where I can go a day, JUST ONE DAY, as close to perfect with eating and exercising as possible.  I am going to do my best to make tomorrow that day.  For now, I will go and have 32 ounces of water and then go to bed.  I am praying that tomorrow is a better day for me. I have to get at least one day right and it will start tomorrow.

Until I blog again,