I know I have said all the right things in my previous posts as I really do mean them, but I haven’t been honest with myself totally. You see all of the things I have said that I will do, all of the things that I shared I have done are true, but at a very highly inconsistent level. I have yet to commit to eating healthy and exercising consistently. To be honest, it bothers me too. Why? Why can’t I just commit to doing something that serves me right in the present and for the future? I am obese, overweight and if I continue down this road it can get really ugly for me. I do not want this to happen. I want to get to where I am consistent and build from there. I know deep down I truly want to live a happy and healthy life, but my actions are not matching that desire. And it has to if I am ever going to reach the goals I have set for myself, my weight and my eating habits.
I see people all the time reaching their weight loss goals as I sift through my instagram feed, read through blogs and even I know some people personally that have done it. I still do not fully understand what it is that is keeping me from latching on and following through so that I too may have the success that I see so many have. It is all very frustrating and at times can be demoralizing that I am still in the place I was, saying I will do this and that, yet not gaining much traction. What will it take? When will I get it and then work hard to achieve the weight loss goals I set for myself? Honestly, there is NOTHING that is keeping me from reaching my goals, but me and that kills me deep inside. KILLS ME! I am tired of being that person that helps others very much but can’t seem to help myself even when my life can depend on it. It hurts and I sometimes find myself speechless or not knowing what to do so that I can get on track and stay there. I just don’t know.
But one thing is for certain, I WILL NOT QUIT! I WILL NOT GIVE UP! I say that and feel that with the notion of believing that one day I will do exactly what I said I would do. I will eat healthy and I will exercise daily. I believe that and I have to start somewhere. So here’s to a great start to the week tomorrow. My plan is to go MASTER MONDAY… I pray!
I will blog tomorrow on my plan to get me back on track and how I will stay on track.
Until I blog again,